Pet cravings: Why your child is looking for an animal friend (and how to find one elsewhere)

Do you have a child? Believe me, at some point the sentence will come: "I want a animal!" dog, cat, rabbit, (almost) no matter, the main thing is cuddly and mine. And no, the cuddly furry friends from Paw Patrol are not enough at some point, not even as a cuddly toy.

"Yes, that's actually the case," confirms Andrea Beetz. "Almost every child wants an animal of their own." Beetz is a qualified psychologist and holds a professorship in special education and inclusion education at the IU International University and is also President of the International Society for Animal Assisted Therapy.

Why children want a pet

"The interest in animals is genetically anchored in people's evolutionary, biological heritage," says the expert. Around 40 years ago, the American sociobiologist Edward O. Wilson put forward the theory of "biophilia": the love of all living things. "This means that we have an affinity for life and for nature, which makes life possible. This includes a lot of things: 'I think puppies are cute' or 'the slimy snail is disgusting' as well as 'I like beautiful butterflies' or 'I want to eat animals'."

It's hardly surprising that even small children feel this longing: "Wauwau" is one of the first words children utter in Germany, says psychologist Beetz. So science, dear parents, is on the children's side. How do you get out of this situation?

Difficult. Because Beetz has even more arguments in store as to why so many children are so desperate for a furry friend (they rarely want animals with feathers). "Children sense: A pet could be a potential friend. They think to themselves: I want a cat or a dog as a friend, to be there for him and look after him, and when I get home, there's someone else besides mum and dad who cares about me."

The more interactive the animal is, the better: spending time together with a dog or cat creates this whole special, personal relationship. "However, the extent to which the heart's desire for an animal is strong varies. Some stop asking at some point, while other children are constantly working on it. For them, the longing never fades."

My own parent's heart bleeds every day when my eleven-year-old asks me again why we don't have a cat ("Your father has allergies and asthma, my child. Still."). What about you: are you unable or unwilling to fulfil your child's animal wish? There are plenty of strong reasons against and various proven defence tactics. Only: The pro-argument side of the argument continues to be emblazoned in VERY BIG letters: "But then I would have a boyfriend!" (Yes, that's how the eleven-year-old argues here too.)

What's so important about having your own pet

Now, Andrea Beetz, are there perhaps other ways of satisfying this childhood longing? "Compensating for this desire is not easy. The best way to do this is in facilities such as the youth farms in Germany, where there is afternoon care with animals." Here, children can observe animals such as dogs, ponies, sheep and rabbits in a pedagogically supervised environment, stroke them and help to care for them. "They have animal contact, the animals stay there permanently, which can be a nice substitute. However, you always have to share your favourite animal," says the expert.

And she limits such alternatives even further: "The relationship with the individual must be allowed to develop - permanently. This is crucial, because this is what children with an urgent desire for a pet are looking for: it must always be the same individual - and not a different animal every time."

Typical animal encounter centres such as zoos or animal parks make it difficult to develop a close bond with animals. And there is something else, says Beetz: "There is a survey by the University of Vienna in which 70 per cent of dog owners admitted: Their dog sleeps in their bed with them. That's exactly what children find so nice about pets: that they snuggle up to them on the sofa, that they lick their ears in bed in the morning or lie on them purring. All these rituals - and they also show that our pack is together."

Well ...

.. so maybe give in to the wish after all!

Why having your own pet is so healthy

"If parents have the time and resources to be able to keep an animal in a species-appropriate way - and are not put off by the long-term perspective - then I think it's great if it's possible. Children see an animal as a member of the family, they colour it in pictures, they tell it their worries. This doesn't have to be verbal, humans and animals maintain physical contact, which releases the bonding hormone oxytocin. An animal helps us to focus and be in the here and now. There are so many studies that show the positive effects on health: stress is relieved more quickly, there is more communication in the family, children become more empathetic, their anxiety and aggression are reduced, their performance at school can improve ..."

But?

"If you can't do it well or don't have the confidence, you shouldn't do it. Then you can say to the child: I understand that you're sad. But unfortunately you can't. A pet also has to fit in with your lifestyle." A small consolation: children who were never able to satisfy their longing for a dog or cat at school usually fulfil their wish themselves as adults.

No pet of your own: these alternatives are available

Until that time comes, you may be able to comfort your child a little with these alternatives:

Dogsitting

Do you have a sweet, child-friendly dog in the neighbourhood and a good relationship with its owner? Then arrange dog sitting: Bello will come to you when the neighbours don't have time and your child will be happy. Important: Be sure to clarify any legal issues in advance - for example, if something happens while you're walking your dog or romping around the flat.

Riding participation

If you own a horse girl or a horse lover, there is a great opportunity: a riding licence can increase your happiness on horseback. Even if it's not your own horse, the all-important ongoing relationship building is guaranteed.

Cat café

There's only one in Switzerland so far: in cat cafés such as "Casa Del Gato" in Zurich, you can relax with a coffee while your child strokes the animals. This may cost money if you visit regularly, but it's still much cheaper than a riding licence.

Animal shelter

Ask the local animal shelter or look at non-profit animal organisations to see if children can be employees. As a rule, children are only allowed to walk shelter dogs from the age of 18; before that, mum or dad have to go with them. What's more, this animal contact is difficult from an emotional point of view, because once the animals have been rehomed, your child has to say goodbye. And that can break their heart. But they will learn that pet ownership also means work: cleaning cages, preparing food, looking after them reliably and yes, even feeling sad when saying goodbye.

Catsitting

Also requires an adult as a companion, but can be very nice: temporary cat sitting. If you don't have any friends who need care for their pet while on holiday, you and your child can also cat-sit for strangers - even with the option of sleeping in their home. Twice as exciting! The Cat in a Flat app brings those looking for a cat together.

Walking apps

Dog fans without a dog of their own can download the Dogorama app to meet dog owners for a walk. If they like the dog and with a bit of luck, the child will develop a great bond with the animal - almost as if it were their own.

Caring for an assistance dog

A hot tip that only works if your family can let the animal family member go: Look out for a temporary puppy. So-called partner dogs, i.e. assistance dogs for people with disabilities, have to experience everyday life before they are trained: from loud children shouting and hoover noise to shopping in a crowded shopping centre or walking and romping in the woods. Organisations regularly look for host families for this purpose. The dogs are usually placed with families for seven to eight months. However, you can also get in touch if you only have time during the holidays or at weekends. Food and veterinary costs are covered by the organisations. In Switzerland, for example, host families are sought by "Lecopain" and "Farah Dogs". In Austria, you can enquire at Partner Hunde Österreich or at Animal Training Centre.

Reading dog

Some libraries offer animal-assisted education: A reading dog comes along to reading sessions and has a calming effect on the children while they read. The animal can usually also be stroked. It is not a given that your child will be able to build up such a close relationship. But at least the dog will certainly motivate them to read. There is a list of reading dog teams in Switzerland at Reading Dog. In the Library Knonau and in the Stadtbibliothek Katharinen in St. Gallen, for example, the regular reading dog appointments are in high demand.

School dog

Even better: if your child's school has its own dog in the classroom. And if not, you might be able to convince the teachers thanks to the proven benefits of a school dog.

Farm

On farms, it's less about cuddling with the animal and more about getting stuck in. However, helping out in the barn for a few days might satisfy your child's longing. Take a look at Myfarm or Farm.myswitzerland to see which farms are looking for employees. Older children aged 14 and over can come into contact with animals on a weekly basis or during the summer holidays. You can find information and partner farms at Agriviva.