«No kid is going to fall down dead because they’ve spent an extra half hour playing video games»
The issue of kids playing video games is a bit of a hot potato. For some, children coming into contact with video games is just par for the course. For others, it’s the downfall of Western civilisation. I’ve asked an expert to weigh in.
My wife and I recently allowed our daughter to play the Nintendo Switch for the first time. She loved it, taking to the console like a duck to water. Afterwards, I summarised her impressions of the experience and what it was like for my wife and I as parents.
The response to my article was overwhelmingly positive. Many of the people who commented on it described their own approach to gaming with their children. Others reminisced about the first time they played video games as kids. But I also got some flak for letting our daughter play the Switch.
Source: Digitec Galaxus
To game or not to game – that is the question
It usually takes a lot to knock my confidence. When it comes to our daughter interacting with video games, I’m still convinced my wife and I are on the right path. And yet, some of the concerns raised in the comments were still ringing in my ears. Around the same time, I got invited to a lecture entitled «The positive aspects of games». I couldn’t make it to the event, but I did manage to get hold of the speaker for an interview.
Source: Florian Lippuner
We recently let our daughter try the Nintendo Switch – or «play on the telly», as she likes to call it – for the first time. Are we bad parents?
Florian Lippuner: There are two types of bad parents. The ones who put no restrictions whatsoever on their children’s gaming and the ones who completely ban their kids from playing video games. So if you guys are somewhere in between, that’s certainly a good sign. In my view, what’s being played, when and for how long is more important than whether the child plays games in the first place.
What’s your approach to gaming with your own children?
My youngest is learning to walk right now, so we’re not at that stage with him yet. A year or two ago, I started occasionally playing the Nintendo Switch with my oldest, who’s in his second year of kindergarten. He goes through phases when it comes to gaming. Sometimes, it feels like he’s asking to play games every minute of the day. And then there are periods when he abandons it for weeks on end, almost forgetting that the Switch is even there.
So how do you actually deal with it?
I guide him through these different phases – a bit like a facilitator. When he’s ultra-focused on gaming, I raise the guard rails and make sure he doesn’t play video games for more than about 30 minutes a day. And when he goes through a long stretch without gaming, I’m the one who eventually gives him a nudge and asks if he wants to play with Dad again. As long as that approach is working for us, I’ll go on using my gut instinct as far as possible. If all goes well, we’ll keep on gaming.
From what age should children be allowed to play video games and for how long? Would you say there’s a rule of thumb?
I think every family has to find their own solution. Some parents give their child a smartphone or tablet before they’ve even turned two. Others wait until age three or later. There’s no magic number. When it comes to toddlers, there are two crucial things. Firstly, what kind of media is the child consuming? There’s a world of difference between passively watching a rapid-fire stream of YouTube clips and actively finding things in a Where’s Wally- style book app. Not all screen time is made equal. Secondly, everything in moderation. Letting a young child play mobile games for ten minutes every now and again is no problem. Things get unhealthy when videos or games are used as a parenting technique or a 'tranquiliser' for several hours a day or with zero limits.
What are the positive aspects of video games? How much can children benefit from them?
When you’re playing a game, the main aim is usually to complete a specific task. To be successful, you need to use a variety of skills – reactivity, coordination, motor skills, spatial awareness, logical thinking, creativity and concentration. Gamers hone these skills simply because they have to in order to progress. Not only that, but gamers also benefit on both a personal and social level. Their gaming successes make them more self-confident, and they also get the chance to discover and try new things in a playful way. During co-op games, they learn the importance of teamwork and communication. Speaking of which, parents from non-English-speaking families keep telling me how amazed they are at their gamer children’s extensive English vocabularies.
There are two sides to everything, so there must be some downsides too...?
Games aren’t simply good or bad. It always depends on what you make of them. And it’s up to the gamer to decide that. I can use games for entertainment or to switch off after a stressful day. But I can also use games for unhealthy reasons – to compensate for something, escape from something or repress something. Those experiences of escapism and virtual success can be addictive. And sooner or later this leads to a vicious circle, because real-life problems get even worse as a result.
Are there any other negative side effects?
Yes. For example, gamers are always telling me that they eventually realised how much of their life they were «playing away». They talk about what they could have done with that time instead – doing sporting activities or hanging out with friends. Once you’re in flow, time passes pretty quickly. We all know that feeling; games can be seriously time-consuming.
What are the most important things parents should consider in relation to their kids’ gaming habits?
Instead of just focusing on the games, content, time spent playing them or age recommendations, you should pay most attention to your child. You’ll notice immediately if your child is overly upset, agitated or frustrated during or after gaming. That’s a cue to choose a different game or take a break from gaming for a while. Parents often have more of a problem with gaming than the children themselves. I’d recommend not wasting too much energy on that when it could be put to good use elsewhere. No kid is going to fall down dead because they’ve spent an extra half hour playing video games. In my opinion, a lot of the arguments and fights people have about gaming are unnecessary. At best, they distract us from the real issues in our everyday family life.
As parents, the first thing we can do is set an example for our children on how to use screen-based media sensibly. The second thing is to facilitate that through guidance, conversations, reflection, recommendations or monitoring. Sooner or later, children and young people have to work out how to deal with multimedia themselves and ask: what’s good for me? What isn’t? And this doesn’t just apply to games – at the end of the day, we expect kids to do this across a variety of areas of life.
When should parents’ alarm bells start ringing?
There’s no need to worry if your child gets completely absorbed in their digital device and loses track of time. Shutting yourself off from the everyday like that can be liberating and soothing. Things get dicey when a child or teen tries to use games to compensate for basic things that aren’t going well in their lives. Let’s say, for example, when their only experience of success comes through gaming because their everyday life is frustrating. Trying to get more and more of this in the game creates a vicious circle, as the frustration in everyday life becomes even greater.
When does gaming get out of hand?
Usually when crises, conflicts, illnesses or other stressful events occur in a gamer’s life. When they happen, the gamers have to focus on these real problems. Something I’ve seen countless times is that if these causes are tackled at the root and solved, the person goes back to a normal level of gaming.
When it comes to video games, so-called killer games are particularly heavily criticised. People often say that they cause violence in real life. What’s your take on that?
Our children will hear about violence sooner or later – whether we like it or not. The news is full of it and the playground isn’t exactly a conflict-free zone either. So why should violence not be allowed to take place in games of all things? In a way, games are a mirror of our society. It stands to reason that they’ll involve some form of violence.
What does the research say?
Despite several decades of research into computer games, no direct link between games and real-life violence has ever been proven. What it has demonstrated is that games can impact aggressive thoughts or other mental issues. But games alone don’t automatically make someone turn violent.
What did people think of gaming when you were young?
As an old-school fan of first-person shooters, I didn’t understand the 'killer game' debate even back then. It’s amazing that the same debate is going on virtually unchanged 30 years later. Again, this shows how far removed many adults still are from the gaming worlds of their children. We should stop taking our kids for fools. They know exactly what the difference is between game violence and real violence. That’s what makes these games so appealing to them. It’s all about competition, adrenaline, action and adventure – but in a safe environment. They know nobody’s actually dying there.
Florian Lippuner advises parents and teachers on their approach to video games. He has a doctorate in Media Studies, is an author (book in German) and a family man with many years of gaming experience. You can find out more about him (in German) here.
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I'm a full-blooded dad and husband, part-time nerd and chicken farmer, cat tamer and animal lover. I would like to know everything and yet I know nothing. I know even less, but I learn something new every day. What I am good at is dealing with words, spoken and written. And I get to prove that here.
