Home accessories from hell – part 5
Beauty, famously, is in the eye of the beholder. These items from our decorative range, however, go far beyond the question of mere taste. Welcome to part 5 of my personal interior design nightmare.
Cork pin boards
Yes, they’re practical. But that’s it. A cork pin board is the dumping ground for stuff that’s long since been taken care of; stuff that belongs in either the bin or your photo album. By allowing you to tidy away your documents and notes without much effort, putting off your to-do list until later, corkboards give you a kind of grace period. While I can understand that, I do think you can do that in a less old-fashioned way – and more importantly, in a way that doesn’t damage the paper. I’m talking about magnetic frames. As for classic pin boards, there’s only one place for them: the bedsit of a lone private detective, who tracks down bad guys with the help of paper cuttings and suspects’ photos held up by colourful pins, connected by a red thread.
Slate plates for hors d’oeuvres
Even after their death, shrimp still have to suffer. Generally speaking, I’m all for making the effort to present food nicely (as long as I don’t have to do the dishes later). When the dark slates come out, however, the fun stops. After all, there’s nothing appetising about them. The cold, uneven, shiny surface of a slate plate makes me think of engine oil. In contrast, a simple wooden board is more attractive, less prone to getting broken or scratched, and lighter too.
Key boxes
Everything has its place. Following this motto, I’m easily able to bring a sense of order into my home. Because as long as I know where something goes, chaos has virtually no chance. The mere sight of a key box makes the hairs on the back of my neck stand on end. Though the idea behind it is certainly commendable, most designs seem to be lacking. For the few keys kept by an average household, I reckon three or four nice hooks on the wall would definitely do the trick as well. A clunky box that needs to be opened and closed again every time you reach for a key is a dubious choice. Almost as dubious as these «designs», which someone approved for production (hopefully by mistake).
*Do you see things differently? I’m happy to chat about it with you in the comments section. *Want to see more of what my colleague Pia Seidel and I find tacky? Here are all the previously published articles from the series:
As a massive Disney fan, I see the world through rose-tinted glasses. I worship series from the 90s and consider mermaids a religion. When I’m not dancing in glitter rain, I’m either hanging out at pyjama parties or sitting at my make-up table. P.S. I love you, bacon, garlic and onions.