Best of make-up shaming: these are your stories

Natalie Hemengül

16.8.2021

Either it’s too much or too little. When it comes to make-up, very few people keep their opinions to themselves. Keep reading for a collection of the most annoying comments and «well-intentioned» advice you’ve had to listen to.

The other day on a walk, I passed a pub where a group of young men were having a good time. The bit of blue eyeshadow, glitter and false eyelashes on my face seemed to irritate the group greatly. So much so that one of the young gentlemen called out to me as I walked by, «Hey, aren’t you part of the band Kiss?» Approving laughter and appreciative pats on the back followed.

A little paint is apparently enough to elicit superfluous comments from complete strangers. It’s not only in public that I experience such situations. Offices and social media are among other hotspots of «make-up shaming». Whether and how I put on make-up is suddenly everybody’s business. For some, I’m too dolled up. Others think I shouldn’t even think about colours, as they say natural beauty is the highest thing to achieve. Everyone has something to say. Such opinions, comments, «well-intentioned advice», and «personal preferences» often come out of the blue. Like the time a former work colleague labelled my love for dramatic make-up as carnival-appropriate during the coffee break, without any prior conversation about make-up or anything similar.

I’m not alone with my «make-up shaming» experiences. I asked you on social media what you’ve had to listen to because you do or don’t wear make-up.

These are your stories

Nicole, 29:
«A colleague who worked with me in HR one day said that I only got the job because two men had interviewed me and my red lipstick had a seductive effect on them. The fact that I had good training and the necessary know-how didn’t seem to matter to her. Unfortunately, it often happens that people deny me professional skills because of the way I wear make-up. Yet one has nothing to do with the other.»

Lorena*, 31:
«On the way into a meeting, a co-worker tried to explain to me that I had a strong personality and that my flashy make-up further intimidated other women. For my own good, I should refrain from putting on make-up in the future. At that time, I was by far the youngest on the team and let myself be influenced by such a statement. I wanted to belong and subsequently appeared at work without make-up for weeks. I also adapted my way of dressing. Baggy was the order of the day. But I missed the morning make-up routine, as it had a positive effect on my mood. By letting go of this ritual, after a while my whole being had changed. At some point, my mother noticed it too. She encouraged me to be myself again. The next day, I met the lady in the bathroom. There she grabbed me by the chin, shook her head and said: 'So you didn’t listen to me?' That was overstepping boundaries for me. I changed jobs relatively quickly, even though I liked what I was doing there.»

Bubu, 29:
«I once got to work on a social media campaign for a beauty brand. For this, I independently recorded a make-up tutorial, which was later played by the brand as an advertisement on Instagram. The comments below were hurtful. I was dubbed a clown. Someone even said that it would take a spatula to remove the make-up from my face again. Today I overlook these unprompted comments, but why you want to hurt people like that I will never understand. Everyone should be free to wear what they like.»

Juliana*, 22:
«Some time ago, I was in a long-distance relationship. My boyfriend and I met virtually every night via video chat. One day, my father asked me seriously if my boyfriend had ever seen me without make-up. After all, he said, there are men who run away when they suddenly see their girlfriend without make-up. With this statement, he insinuated that not only my boyfriend had a superficial interest in me, but also that I’m so unflattering you have to run away. I took it with humour.»

Laila*, 27:
«I usually wear light make-up to the office. Not on this day. A staff member asked me point-blank why I wasn’t wearing make-up today and explained that my eyes looked smaller without it. I understand that my face without make-up is an unfamiliar sight. But such comments really are unnecessary.»

Laura*, 30:
«At the weekend, after a long time, I dolled myself up again, because we wanted to go clubbing. My boyfriend’s friend then seriously said: ’Wow, you look so beautiful today, if your boyfriend doesn’t put a ring on it, I will.»

Tabea, 30:
«My ex once told me that he can’t understand why I spend so much time on my face instead of my body. Back then, I wasn’t a mum yet and liked spending hours putting on make-up because it gave me pleasure. His comment made me self-conscious at the time; fortunately, that’s no longer the case today.»

Amelia*, 34:
«I have a creative streak and live it out at my dressing table. In a conversation with my work colleague, we discussed the topic of 'made-up women'. He then said: 'You wear a lot of make-up at work, it’s already borderline.' I made it clear to him that my face has to please only me and he doesn’t decide what heavy make-up is or isn’t. If you don’t like my make-up, look away. That’s my opinion. I don’t apologise for who I am or what I like.»

Anna*, 40:
«I participated in an open-air theatre production where I was on my feet from morning to night. Under the blazing sun as well as in the rain. That’s why I decided to stop putting on make-up, even though I usually like to conceal my dark circles a bit. But with sunscreen, sweat, rain, baseball cap and all, I didn’t see the point of bothering. At lunch, the director asked me if I was okay and if I had slept enough. I assured him that everything was okay and that I was merely very warm. Afterwards, two actors approached me. They also asked if I was all right. ’You don’t look fit. Are you ill?’ I answered in the negative again. Then I gradually understood. I wasn’t wearing any make-up. In the evening, one of these actors approached me again. He had a few beers and spoke to me again about my 'tired' face. As a result, I got angry. Fortunately, another actor came to my rescue to smooth things over. I probably should have just said that I had been drinking and doing coke the night before and that’s why I look like shit. I’m sure everyone would have been satisfied with that answer.»

Biting your tongue instead of stepping on others’ toes

Appearances such as dark undereye circles, bright lipstick or a thick layer of foundation may be visible to everyone, but that’s no invitation to unload opinions and remarks without being asked. Quite the opposite, in fact. They’re a private matter. Everyone decides for themselves how they want to present themselves to the world. And I will gladly do without insults disguised as «helpful tips» in the future.

Have you too experienced or been told something similar? Share your experience with us in the comments section!

Natalie Hemengül

Senior Editor

Natalie.Hemenguel@digitecgalaxus.ch

As a massive Disney fan, I see the world through rose-tinted glasses. I worship series from the 90s and consider mermaids a religion. When I’m not dancing in glitter rain, I’m either hanging out at pyjama parties or sitting at my make-up table. P.S. I love you, bacon, garlic and onions. more

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