30 daft lies only parents could think up

We mean well. And to do well, we sometimes swindle our way through raising our children. A Canadian-American study from 2009 confirms as much. In fact, the researchers were «surprised by how often parenting by lying takes place», as
«Wissenschaft aktuell» quoted Kang Lee, leader of the study and professor at the University of Toronto. «Moreover, our findings showed that even the parents who most strongly promoted the importance of honesty with their children engaged in parenting by lying.»

White lies arise from a need

Everyone knows lying is wrong. But there are lies, and there are little lies; there’s really mean, dishonest behaviour, and there are little fibs. And without the latter, parents wouldn’t stand an earthly chance of getting through the routine craziness of life with kids. So, in the case of fibbing parents, I propose we generously call these «emergency lies». After all, they’re born out of necessity. And they usually have a pedagogic reason. For example:

• You want to still the child’s fear of something.
• You don’t want a discussion – or want to at least shorten it.
• You want to keep the child’s faith in something.
• You want to make something more appealing.
• It's what you were taught.

Pinocchio is pervasive

With the help of my fellow editors, I’ve compiled a list of 30 white lies that we’ve used ourselves or heard in our childhood. The list is divided by situation and is by no means complete, so feel free to expand on it in the comments.

Dinner table tales

1. «If you don’t eat up, the weather will be bad tomorrow.»
2. «Carrots are good for your eyes.»
3. «If you swallow the gum, it’ll stay in your belly forever.»

Stories for sweet tooths

1. «No, this store doesn’t sell ice cream.»
2. «This chocolate’s for adults only; there’s alcohol in it.»
3. «I’m sorry, I don’t have any cash on me. And you can only pay for sweets in cash.»

Bedtime stories for sleepy parents

1. «All the other kids are already in bed.»
2. «The sooner you fall asleep, the sooner it’ll be morning.»
3. «Mommy and Daddy are tired, too. We’ve just got to do a quick clean-up, and we’ll be right in bed.»

Kiddos and chaotic shopping trips

1. «I left my wallet at home.»
2. «The vending machine is out of order.»
3. «The ice cream stand is closed today.»

Emergency lies on the road

1. «The car can only drive once everyone’s buckled.»
2. «If you don’t sit still this instant, you can get out and walk home!»
3. «We’re almost there.»

Anatomical art

1. «You can have the gummy bear if you manage to kiss yourself on the elbow.»
2. «If you tell lies, your nose will grow long like Pinocchio’s.»
3. «You’ll get a reward if you can run faster than Daddy.»

The trouble with technology

1. «I’m sorry, replacement batteries aren’t available for your siren toy.»
2. «Watch too much TV and your eyes will be shaped like squares.»
3. «There’s no bedtime story on TV tonight.»

Holiday fibs

1. «The Easter Bunny won’t come until you’re asleep.»
2. «Santa put the presents under the Christmas tree.»
3. «Santa Claus sees when you’ve been naughty.»

Lies about animals

1. «Your hamster’s in heaven now.»
2. «That cat on the side of the road is just sleeping.»
3. «We can’t get a dog because Daddy’s allergic.»

Universal lies

1. «The other kids also don’t/aren’t allowed to have that.»
2. «Unfortunately, you have to be at least X years old to do that.»
3. «When I was your age, I always listened to my parents.»

Certain fibs sound familiar? Got any other silly examples? Let us know in the comments.